occasionally, when i sleep, i go through sleep paralysis. i took a nap a couple hours ago and found myself in the middle of being “paralyzed.” i used to be terrified every time i felt sleep paralysis, but now i just let it happen allowing me to lucid dream.
my dream: im sleeping in my mothers bed next to her. i slowly begin to wake up and notice my body is still paralyzed from the sleep. i never know what i’ll see once i let myself drown in this paralysis because i know my mind is still in its dreaming state. i cannot turn my head but i can see in my peripherals that my mom’s hand is spazzing out. i force my head to turn and it looks like my mother is going through a seizure. (everytime im in sleep paralysis i cant stop my frightened feelings. so once i start to lucid dream, its always of something scary. i have to calm myself down to overcome the nightmare.) i start to clear my mind and meditate. i can hear voices. my head is under the covers so i cannot see who’s in the room. it sounds like my auntie mayette, from northern virginia, was in the room chatting with other people. i try and make the voices stop because its distracting. then, back in reality, the doorbell rings and i wake up.
Morning of Aug. 31, 2011
NIGHT OF AUG 29, 2011.
i feel my body sleeping, but my mind feels partially awake. its as if i’m dreaming about a feeling rather than a specific image. i notice now that i am in fact dreaming and try to conjure up my own images from my head. i see lights of color pulsing in space with an odd feeling that felt related to the movements. i found myself trying to make up “impossible matter” appear in thin air, whatever “impossible matter” is.